Mommy Madness Halloween Special 1| Dealing with Horror Parents
Dealing with Horror Parents
I meant to write about this last September but I never really got into it cause life happened. Anyways, I wanted to share with you guys a Mommy Madness Halloween Series which will not necessarily deal with parenting only at the beginning, but It paves way for how we can be great parents ourselves in the end. This is something I learned from Bo Sanchez himself when I attended The Feast at PICC.
This will be Part 1 of said series :D
There are different kinds of parents, but I'll be involving those that are not only seen in horror movies but in real life as well. These are Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies and Ghost parents. Later on I'll explain how we can combat these horrors and how we can avoid to be one in another post.
Ghosts(absentee parents)
An example would be OFWs, those who you can’t see physically but in actuality, this sacrifice is the result of them loving you and wanting all good things that they can provide for you. It’s useless to be angry and have sentiment over their absence, because they are actually sacrificing for you and your future. But if your parents abandoned you for another reason, oh say for another family or woman, then please try to not be pent up in your anger. Because if you are gonna be stuck in your anger and revenge, it’s gonna destroy you and in the process of your heart wanting revenge, your children.
Zombies(apathetic parents)
These are the parents who do not instruct, discipline or be involved with their children. Yung tipong you're gonna have dinner with them, and they're still busy with the work and the newspaper that all you get is a nod when you say all the good and bad things that has happened in your day. But please forgive and move on because they did love you. They just did not know how.
Vampires(absolute parents)
Parents who over parent. These are the over protective ones. They bite and bite you of your patience, and choke you to possible death with their strict rules and sometimes, these rules are not even age appropriate. To give you an idea, they usually enforce strict curfew like "Be in bed by 5 pm or else!", when you're already graduating high school, and they also don't let you go without their supervision when you're gonna be going to apply for college. The military sounds heaven than living with these parents right?
Truth be told, this is actually the way they say that they love you. Think about it this way- Rules are made for a reason, which is to protect. If your parent is over controlling you, the best course of action is to forgive and still honor them, behind all these, because they didn’t know how to show it to you, or this is the way they know how.
Werewolves(abusive parents)
They are the abusive ones, physically, emotionally, and verbally. Those who make their kids into punching bags, or worse say mean things to their kids so frequently that it is ingrained n them. e.g. those who say inutil/stupid to their child until, well, when they are older these things actually happen cause it is the belief they are given at a young age.
What you do to abusive parents is you shield yourself and drop the sword. You have to honor yourself and do not allow parents to abuse you, you have to use the shield, and love people from a distance. If you don’t forgive, it will destroy you. When God says forgive, it means make a decision in your heart to forgive. It doesn’t mean you have to be buddy buddy and chummy with the person, but you have to do the decision.
When your parents are angry, you must not be angry with them, instead, honor them and give love. Give a gentle answer instead of shouting crass words that you might regret. When they are angry with you, you say (and mean it), that you’re sorry and that you will not do it again.
When it happens again, then just deflect from having angry responses.
And say I’m sorry.
Repeat.
Then for sure, as time goes on, a miracle will come, and it may be through your parents, where they will notice the change and be more gentle with you, or through your children and yourself, wherein you gain love, and peace, and have the horrendous cycle of hurting stop.
Where do horror parents come from anyways?!
Hurt People HURT people. In reality, a lot of people has pains and hurt and past conflicts with their parents(although there are always exceptions). There is buried pain in our hearts most of the time. Unfortunately, the buried pain will not die unless you yourself address it or do something about it.
If you let it be buried, it will live again, like the dead rising from the grave. In turn, the sin of anger, violence and selfishness are passed on to the next generation and the next, which turns it into a cycle.
Horror parents produce horror parents most of the time. And there is truly only ONE way to stop the cycle.
Become a wizard yourself and like the family of Potters, fight violence with LOVE and Forgiveness. The truth of the matter is that nobody is perfect. Even parents make mistakes. They may hurt you, one way or another. But the thing is this: You have to make sure that you don’t pass it on to your kids. Stop the cycle of hatred and revenge within your generation.
How do you love someone when you have all the anger and hurt in the world? Use love from a different source. Be reparented by God, or Allah, or whomever you believe in who has and will always have unlimited love for everyone of us.
Nicole
I meant to write about this last September but I never really got into it cause life happened. Anyways, I wanted to share with you guys a Mommy Madness Halloween Series which will not necessarily deal with parenting only at the beginning, but It paves way for how we can be great parents ourselves in the end. This is something I learned from Bo Sanchez himself when I attended The Feast at PICC.
This will be Part 1 of said series :D
There are different kinds of parents, but I'll be involving those that are not only seen in horror movies but in real life as well. These are Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies and Ghost parents. Later on I'll explain how we can combat these horrors and how we can avoid to be one in another post.
Ghosts(absentee parents)
An example would be OFWs, those who you can’t see physically but in actuality, this sacrifice is the result of them loving you and wanting all good things that they can provide for you. It’s useless to be angry and have sentiment over their absence, because they are actually sacrificing for you and your future. But if your parents abandoned you for another reason, oh say for another family or woman, then please try to not be pent up in your anger. Because if you are gonna be stuck in your anger and revenge, it’s gonna destroy you and in the process of your heart wanting revenge, your children.
Zombies(apathetic parents)
These are the parents who do not instruct, discipline or be involved with their children. Yung tipong you're gonna have dinner with them, and they're still busy with the work and the newspaper that all you get is a nod when you say all the good and bad things that has happened in your day. But please forgive and move on because they did love you. They just did not know how.
Vampires(absolute parents)
Parents who over parent. These are the over protective ones. They bite and bite you of your patience, and choke you to possible death with their strict rules and sometimes, these rules are not even age appropriate. To give you an idea, they usually enforce strict curfew like "Be in bed by 5 pm or else!", when you're already graduating high school, and they also don't let you go without their supervision when you're gonna be going to apply for college. The military sounds heaven than living with these parents right?
Truth be told, this is actually the way they say that they love you. Think about it this way- Rules are made for a reason, which is to protect. If your parent is over controlling you, the best course of action is to forgive and still honor them, behind all these, because they didn’t know how to show it to you, or this is the way they know how.
Werewolves(abusive parents)
They are the abusive ones, physically, emotionally, and verbally. Those who make their kids into punching bags, or worse say mean things to their kids so frequently that it is ingrained n them. e.g. those who say inutil/stupid to their child until, well, when they are older these things actually happen cause it is the belief they are given at a young age.
What you do to abusive parents is you shield yourself and drop the sword. You have to honor yourself and do not allow parents to abuse you, you have to use the shield, and love people from a distance. If you don’t forgive, it will destroy you. When God says forgive, it means make a decision in your heart to forgive. It doesn’t mean you have to be buddy buddy and chummy with the person, but you have to do the decision.
When your parents are angry, you must not be angry with them, instead, honor them and give love. Give a gentle answer instead of shouting crass words that you might regret. When they are angry with you, you say (and mean it), that you’re sorry and that you will not do it again.
When it happens again, then just deflect from having angry responses.
And say I’m sorry.
Repeat.
Then for sure, as time goes on, a miracle will come, and it may be through your parents, where they will notice the change and be more gentle with you, or through your children and yourself, wherein you gain love, and peace, and have the horrendous cycle of hurting stop.
Where do horror parents come from anyways?!
Hurt People HURT people. In reality, a lot of people has pains and hurt and past conflicts with their parents(although there are always exceptions). There is buried pain in our hearts most of the time. Unfortunately, the buried pain will not die unless you yourself address it or do something about it.
If you let it be buried, it will live again, like the dead rising from the grave. In turn, the sin of anger, violence and selfishness are passed on to the next generation and the next, which turns it into a cycle.
Horror parents produce horror parents most of the time. And there is truly only ONE way to stop the cycle.
Become a wizard yourself and like the family of Potters, fight violence with LOVE and Forgiveness. The truth of the matter is that nobody is perfect. Even parents make mistakes. They may hurt you, one way or another. But the thing is this: You have to make sure that you don’t pass it on to your kids. Stop the cycle of hatred and revenge within your generation.
How do you love someone when you have all the anger and hurt in the world? Use love from a different source. Be reparented by God, or Allah, or whomever you believe in who has and will always have unlimited love for everyone of us.
Nicole
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I love this post. I have vampire parents haha. I think no parent naman is perfect, but while it's very easy to resent them, there is forgiveness and compassion if we to Jesus.
ReplyDeleteA very refreshing way of describing parents, and timely also. :)
ReplyDeleteAt times I get overprotective too but my husband keeps reminding me to chill and sometimes let things be with our son.
ReplyDeleteI did mention that it happens most of the time, not always. :D anyways, congrats to you for conquering said cycle dear! :D
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this. I had a horror dad but it was mostly because he was bipolar. It affected my childhood negatively in so many ways but later on I took it upon myself to move on from all the pain. I'd like to think I'm not passing on the negative effects of that to my children. :)
ReplyDeleteIt does have an effect on the "horrored" kid, but if that kid's educated and has met God, she will never be a horror parent. I'd like to say that I am that kid. I hope my child sees me as a non-horror one. ;)
ReplyDeleteI can say that I’m lucky enough to have parents who don’t fall under any of these “horror parents”. They were always balanced – they were never too strict nor too lenient. I hope I can become as balanced as they were, my son is still young so I still can’t tell. This is a very interesting read, and timely for Halloween, too!
ReplyDelete