Growing an Awesome and Better Mother and Daughter(or Son) Bond

Image from Taytana Tomisckova (flickr)

A thought just occurred to me, which I know will hit most moms everywhere. We may wear a lot of caps, but these two are few of the most important:

• A Mother to our Daughter/Son


• A Daughter to our Mother

I now realize that this special bond should grow stronger in time, but as our children grow into teenagers, there will always be this misconception that make teenage girls, and especially guys afraid to open up to their mothers for fear of being misunderstood.



Thinking of these facts of life, I saw a few flaws in my own relationship with my mom, which I would love, and am trying to rectify with her. And as I thought more, I reminded myself that I should also try harder with my own daughter and son. After all, moms are not only supposed to be moms and disciplinarians, but confidantes as well to their kids.

The thing is though, that just like plants and our child's physical growth, this bond needs to be nurtured. And it’s a matter of working diligently toward it.

If you want to build and maintain a wonderful mother daughter/son bond, here are four suggestions on how to do so:

Listen

When our little lady and gentleman talks, we have to start listening. Don't waste the opportunity when they open up what has happened in school this particular day. Take note of what he/she likes and dislikes, and ask of what is happening in their life. Cherish it because as this is happening, it means that our kids is looking for a friend in us. It's an awesome start to growing a positive relationship. Never ever turn them away because you are feeling exhausted or overwhelmed. Or if you are busy with work, make sure to set aside actual time later for talking.

Encourage and Support

This one should be a given when it comes for our kids. Don't turn them down when they want to try something new. If they want to try theater acting, let them. If they want to go get ballet lessons, be in the basketball varsity (or in my case, Jenae wants to go and learn surfing), we should encourage them to try and give them the means to do so. It will help them see that we are and will be there for them in their own ups and downs. My husband and I are currently saving up for swimming lessons to start her dreams of becoming a surfer. (This one I wish was given to me by my parents. I so wanted to try karate or ballet, but they just flat out refused, which kinda gave me an inferiority complex of sorts, aside from not listening to my pleas that I am being bullied in school... In the end, I kinda gave up on them, hence the not so good relationship I have with my mom)

Be Honest

Never fear to speak the Truth. Now, if you think that your son/daughter is a little too young to understand, try to explain the situation with discretion, but never sugarcoating things and still maintaining what is true. This honesty is a two way street- daughters and sons should refrain from giving white lies. How else can moms understand your situation better and give a well suited advice if you don't give the whole truth? Moms are in our lives for so many reasons including protecting us and helping us during the good and bad.

Make Time and Have Dates

Remember my first tip on listening? Now's the time to take out your list on what your child likes and dislikes and make time for activities that both of you will love. In my case, my 3 year old son loves to play with toy cars and buses and loves to pretend racing, hence I play with him at times and watch the anime Inital D which he also loves.

With my daughter, we go and bake stuff at times and I teach her how to cook hotdogs, eggs and cookies because I noticed that she loves to watch cooking shows on TV, as well as watching makeovers and spa days in Youtube.





For the second part, we recently went to Nailaholics and Hey Sugar in Festival Mall for a day's worth of pampering. Hey Sugar offers these awesome services of Eyebrow Threading and Hot or Cold Waxing. I was there because honestly, I wanted to have my cooch cleaned up a bit, hence I tried out their Dulce De Brazilian Hot Wax services(830.00 Php)  this time because they're near my place more.





My daughter was in awe of the cutesy and hip decor, and I loved how engaging and friendly the staff were not just to me but to my daughter. The actual procedure took around 30 minutes, and it hurt a bit at first, and most especially at the last part. But this is because the 'cooch' is the most sensitive part of a woman's body and for the last part, the wax was aimed very near my clit. #SensitiveBEH. They used organic sugar wax on me, and some VCO was applied after to help soothe the skin. Overall though, the experience is awesome because of the staff who was very understanding when I asked for a few breaks and it wasn't awkward.





After that, my daughter Jenae and I went to Nailaholics for the actual Mother-Daughter date.


I asked for a Palm Beach Pedicure(230 Php) for her which included nail shaping, cuticle treatment (though I asked for the ladies to not cut her cuticles) and polish, with an anti-bacterial foot soak and a restorative mini foot massage.




She has never had nail polish ever in her entire life, and I was kinda surprised that she chose the color violet because she usually chooses pinks and reds as her favorite colors. It was her first time to try and have her nails done, and get a foot spa, and she kinda got ticklish as well. XD ...


For me, I got their Indulgent Aqua Package(1150Php) which is basically a Manicure, Pedicure and Hand and Foot Paraffin. The attendants were very understanding with the temperature of the wax coated onto my hands, legs and foot. I chose this because I read somewhere that this helps with 'pasma' and to lessen the view of varicrose veins (which I have a lot). Also, in some weird way, the hot wax is very relaxing on the skin once wrapped with cling film and mittens. :D







All in all, service is above par. BTW, they have Spa Party packages that you should totally check out- perfect for bonding with your moms and sisters +cousins and aunties!

Going back, building and maintaining strong bonds is healthy and refreshing. In life, when you feel you cannot trust or depend on anyone in your world, always remember your mother, or your children, is one person you can always turn to without a single hesitation.
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